Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Well, here's a hard prayer to live up to... But good.

from The Valley of Vision

Evening Renewal

My Father, if Thy mercy had bounds, where would be my refuge from just wrath? But thy love in Christ is without measure. Thus, I present myself to Thee with sins of comission and omission, against Thee, my Father, against Thee, adorable redeemer, against Thee and Thy strivings, O Holy Spirit, against the dictates of my conscience, against the precepts of Thy Word, against my neighbours and myself. Enter not into judgment with me, for I plead no righteousness of my own, and have no cloak for iniquity. Pardon my day dark with evil. This night I renew my penitence. Every morning I vow to love Thee more fervently, to serve Thee more sincerely, to be more devoted in my life, to be wholly Thine; Yet I soon stumble, backslide, and have to confess my weakness, misery and sin. But I bless Thee that the finished work of Jesus needs no addition from my doings, that His oblation is sufficient satisfaction for my sins.

If future days be mine, help me to amend my life, to hate and abhor evil, to flee the sins I confess. Make me more resolute, more watchful, more prayerful. Let no evil fruit spring from evil seeds my hands have sown; Let no neighbour be hardened in vanity and folly by my want of circumspection. If this day I have been ashamed of Christ and His Word, or have shown unkindness, malice, envy, lack of love, unadvised speech, hasty temper, let it be no stumbling block to others, or dishonour to Thy name. O help me to set an upright
example that will ever rebuke vice, allure to goodness, and evidence that lovely are the ways of Christ.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I know NOTHING...

.... with respect to making this blog look or feel more interesting. I would like to learn, but in the meantime (before graduation in May), is there anything I can do to pimp this blog? comments/suggestions appreciated...

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

blasphemy... uh... huh?

There is a new website which challenges young people to deny the Holy Spirit. It specifically targets young people. I really find this a little bit (read "really freakin") disturbing. According to an NBC report from an affiliate in Roanoke on youtube, they're targeting kid because "Christians are, too.".............

Well, I know that the rationalists say that faith is illogical. But on the other hand, I would bet that a great majority have never experienced faith, nor a relationship with Jesus Christ. So.... um..... Rational to refuse something one doesn't understand? That's kinda hard for me to see...

But of course the Wisdom of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing; you can't understand what you can't see...

Anyway,

I felt I should respond. So here it is:
"...people are appointed to die once, and then to face judgment," (Heb. 9:27b)

"Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing."
"Blessing and honor and glory and Power be unto Him that sits upon the throne and unto the Lamb."

Which is to say, I guess you know whose side I'm on....

Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world because he is the son of God, and through His blood alone comes the forgiveness of sins and the righteousness it takes to enter Heaven.

I've never said this anywhere to anyone before and really meant it. But there it is. And what's more, He is the greatest Lover of my soul. Without hearing "beloved" from Him every so often, I would simply wither up and die.

Now.

Am I delusional? Maybe... But consider if I am not... Then what? That's a big risk...

So I guess it's official - I really am a Jesus Freak. It's taken 21 years. But here I am. It's a strange feeling...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Something I've had reason to think about...

I've disappointed myself a lot lately... I've been concerned with things that don't matter. My new friend Josh has posted about this, too. I find myself losing passion for the things of God, screwing up, repenting, and repeating. I, like many others, am sick of messing up and of other folks messing up. And sometimes my heart breaks as it should for sin, but many times, I find myself slipping into apathy. That's what really kills - not the sin itself, but the apathy to do anything about it, although that itself is a sin as well. And it scares me.

How do I get to the place where I just don't care to spend time with God, to be with Him, to read the Bible, to live a life that I know is full, rich, and free?
Why do I constantly lose heart in my running the Race for Christ?
How do I come to drop my guard against sin to the point where it not only invades my body, but also anesthetizes me against its further invasion and destruction?

"Oh wretched man that I am, who will free me from..." the apathy I have for God and His work? I see a firey desire for Jesus in those around me that I don't have most of the time... That's what I'm waiting for now - the Passion to continue - to live as a man of God and not as a child of this world - to run the Race. Hard.


Declared, Bannered
Anathallo

"I could not look Him in the face,

so I stood revarnishing the floor with my eyes.
He stared into them with this love so offended and profound.
He tore the center of my shirt
and red was bleeding through
from underneath the white clothes that I wore.
The fire of devotion was only an ember.
Alarmed at this sign of decay,
my legs gave out
because there was no self left to stand on.
Thus, my heart was grieved, vexed in my mind,
still Your banner over me was love.
My walls are ever before You,
still Your banner over me is love.
But it was Your kind arms cradling me, a criminal.
But it was Your kind arms cradling me, a criminal....
Oh wretched worm of a man that I am,
on Thy kind arms I fall.
I'm just a man.
I'm just a criminal."

---
Jesus, thank you for showing Your Love to me, even when I have no passion for You. Thank you for calling me Your beloved. Grant me a Zeal for You - for Your words, for Your people, and for those who are without You.

Goodnight.

Friday, January 19, 2007

testing, 1,2,3...

I think I'm finally migrating from Xanga... Does anyone have good,
REALLY quick ideas of how to set up a great-looking blog on Blogger?
-AP